H-Beam is now FDA Approved

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has found the time and budget to make H-Beam approved for all consumers. The commission appointed, set by a lunch-time deadline, adjourned with the decision to release H-Beam into the mainstream consumer market with a loud harrumph. Either in visual, audible, or edible form, H-Beam is guaranteed to work 80% of the time, all of the time. However, there was a lengthy side-effect list that would make Viagra users quiver.

The known side-effects may include and are not limited to:

Nausea
Upset Stomach
Diarrhea
Hopefulness
Strong Sexual Side Effects
Dizziness
Lots and lots of rashes
Gout
Bowel Irritability
Spouse Irritability
Undeadness
Hot Hands
Yeast Infection
Backne
Irregular Yawning
Hair Hurting
The Urge to Mash Potatoes
Hopscotchiness
Pregnancy
Bloody Nose
Fever
and The Plague

This didn't stop the FDA, why should it stop us. Please take with alcohol and try to operate heavy machinery under adult supervision. No Pandas, Chickens or Frogs were bothered by animal testing.

The Freedom Dog Fourth of July Freedom Festivities

Not only was Boots (Windows on the Cumberland, H-Beam's Godfather) dishing out FREE Freedom Dogs for the patrons of our FREE Fourth of July show, but he played host for a great second annual H-Beam Independence Day Extraveganza. The Woodwork Roadshow tore it up both before and after the H-Beam set with the amazing Harris Gardner sitting in on H-Beam's "Thrifty Bitch" and "Cumberland Hop" laying down an amzing electric mandolin display.

The crowd was ready to party with a constant revolving door of new and old fans stopping in for the event. Thanks to Tom, Kelly, Stayc, Boots, Bobby, Harris, and all of our great supporters. Wish we could make every show a free one. Maybe someday.

Here's to Freedom Dogs.

This show will be available on Archive.org soon!

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL
THRIFTY BITCH *
NAKED LADIES DOT COM
CUMBERLAND HOP *#
GIRLS GONE WILD / YOUNG AMERICAN
BANANA
BANG
ALLA REALLY WANNA
FANTASY LIFE / FORTUNATE SON
LUSCIOUS GUS
TANK
LOVE PANDA
PEEKABAH
STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER
PORTILLO
JANE AND JANE
MT. CHANGE
AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL TAG
WAR PIGS

* (Harris Gardner on Mandolin)
# (Stayc Givhan as the Adml. Doc Hopalong